Somethinnn'. Somethin' about this place...

Last week flewwww by! We had Monday off for Columbus day. A few of us went to the beach because it was free (no fees after labor day!) and it was sooo nice. The weather was beautiful and there was barely anyone where we parked it. Then we had school Tuesday-Thursday. Thursday afternoon we went to our Community Retreat at a retreat center conveniently located 1/4 mile from where we live :) The weekend was centered around our community and how we relate/clash with each other. We took the Enneagram test to find out our personality types. I'll be honest, I'm not a huge fan of the test because it puts people in a box and can be focused on negative things, but it was a good test for becoming aware of differences between me and my community members. We also got to see the other Good Shepherd Volunteers from NYC... it's always fun to see them! :)

Mid summer, I made a comment in a blog about wanting to feel healthier by Christmas. I think I've definitely made some positive changes. First, being at this school and working with these kids has been such a blessing. I can tell that my heart is happier here and I'm doing something that really makes me happy. My thoughts and relationships are all a lot healthier. Also, while it's a work in progress, I've definitely had a better perspective on self-image recently. We have to learn to love ourselves. Lots of prayer and self love and acceptance are key recipes for happiness within.

So, here I sit, listening to country music on my computer (through my headphones cuz my roommates don't like country music haha), sipping tea and reflecting on the year so far in NJ. I've already thought about how sad I will be when I have to leave (although I try not to dwell in that and just enjoy the moments). I feel spoiled to be here. So many learning opportunities and experiences. The joy I have has lead me to believe that this sort of work may be what I've been called to all along. Why I didn't turn to this sooner, I'm not sure. But I do know that all things lead us to where we're meant to be. Our ways are not always God's ways! We may feel uncomfortable or like we're not happy at times, but truly, with faith in the One who loves us, we can have hope for good things to come.

Let nothing trouble you,
Let nothing frighten you.
All things are passing;
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
He who possesses God lacks nothing:
God alone suffices.
-St. Theresa of Avila

A word from Ms. Skrobacz in the Rec Room :)

The rec room is a place the students can go after their done eating during lunch. They love to go in there because they can use their phones, play pool, play ping pong, and just hang out. I was on duty in there today and had a strange and awesome feeling. I just felt really alive and happy. It's not really explainable.... because rec room duty is probably one of the more stressful jobs of the day. Most of the kids like to go in there and it gets loud, crazy, and out of control. But for some reason, I was overcome with a ton of love and so much joy. Philippians says that after prayer and petition with thanksgiving, "the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will be with you". Maybe that's just it. Pray, pray, and pray some more. I'll admit, I'm really not the best at keeping a consistent prayer life. But I know that when I DO make time, my day is so much better, I'm a lot less stressed/anxious, and my view of the world is a lot less cluttered.

Do you have those moments in your day that make you happy? What makes you feel alive? Do you follow your heart or the world? If you asked me a year ago (when I was sitting in a computer lab coming up with design ideas) if I thought I'd be hangin out in a high school rec room in New Jersey, trying to love kids who want to push ur buttons as far as possible, ummm I probably would have chuckled. I'm so thankful to be where I am and for all the people who have lead me here. I pray that you and I would follow the plans of the Lord and what makes us truly alive. That plan may change unexpectedly in a couple days or maybe even years down the road. Own it and follow it! :)

Happiness is in the heart, not the circumstances

OKAY PEOPLE... In case you didn't know, tearing up in spinning class is definitely RIDONKulous!! haha nevertheless I DID! ;) The teacher probably thought I was working so hard that I cried or some sort of crazy wacko. Moreso the later hehe... but in all seriousness, I think I'm feeling my first wave of homesickness today... Lucy got homecoming queen last night and I so badly wish I could be home to help her get ready for the dance tonight. I'm really close with my siblings and fam so things like this are hard to miss. Kate, I can totally appreciate how hard it's been for you to be gone! We all need to get matching underwear or SOMETHING to have on these days so we're all connected hahahaha ok so maybe underwear is a littttt-tle bit weird... ;) these are definitely eye opening learning opportunities!

I'm going to visit with my Aunt Bern this afternoon, and then go to confession and mass with her and my uncle so hopefully that will distract me. I was thinking about it this morning and realized that I scheduled our visit during the time Lucy is getting ready for the dance... I got really upset because it would be fun to skype in for a bit but as I write this I'm realizing that it's probably better that I don't... it may add fuel to the fire. There will be plenty of other opportunities to skype with her :) look at me, trying to counsel myself baha ;) My mom always says "your mind is a dangerous place to go by yourself"... thus, I share this all with youu! Thanks for reading and not judging me for my crazy thoughts :P!

Things are going well at school! The students are more and more challenging and humbling each day. Each day I also realize I have more and more love to give. Jillian Michaels has work out DVDs (which I own and highly recommend... they kick ur a$$ if you're interested in a good work out!) and at one point she says "You know I expect a lot from you, but I know you've got it to give." I think that's so true- it's a lot about mental power and determination. While we give, it's also important to feed ourselves (mentally, physically, etc). Someone once told me we should have our cups constantly full so that what we are giving is the overflow- ie. not emptying our cup, filling it up, emptying, filling, etc.... sooo I took this weekend to do some things for myself that I've been putting off, because I think I've been giving a little bit from inside my cup... from the little things of doing my nails and relaxing to bigger things like finding a young adult group, I'm really cherishing this time to myself.

So here I am, writing about how I want to be home with everyone, but I'm loving some time to myself. haha sometimes I make myself laugh. I guess we always hear that we need to laugh at ourselves.... "A day without laughter is a day wasted".... find a way to make yourself laugh today! :) Enjoy the weekend! I'll write more again soon!

PS-- as always, sending lots of love to my Mom, Dad, Kate, Nathan, Joe and Lucy! miss youuu! xoxoxo