Happy Challenges

Annnd it all comes full circle. I cannot believe there are only two weeks left. I have so much I want to write but I feel like a couple things stick out so I'll try to keep it brief. Geeeeze I'm really gonna miss these people- Ray, the staff, the sisters and definitely my roommates. Leaving is definitely going to be dfficult... but I have to think of it as another happy challenge. We had a spirituality night tonight and Aleks printed out an article with this quote:
"Any sorrow can be the parent of a joy we've never imagined" -Martha Beck
It's a good quote to keep in mind as we transition out of our service year. It's easy to focus on the loss of everything and what we're leaving behind. It's also really important to focus on the good and what good is ahead.

I also got a hand-out from my spiritual director from the book Understanding the Enneagram and liked a couple things that I thought I'd share. In any transition, it is important to remember that new coworkers/roommates/family come from different life paths and as our roads intersect, it can be unsettling (if we let it) because we all bring different perspectives to the table... The first passage also makes me think of anyone in service or missionary work- we may not see the fruits of our labor but you never know the impact you will make. The second and third points are lessons I've been working on this year as well:

1. "You have a lot to teach others and are probably a good teacher, but do not expect others to change/[understand] immediately. What is obvious to you may not be obvious to them, especially if they are not used to being as self-disciplined and objective about themselves as you are about yourself. Many people may also want to do what is right and may agree with you in principle, but for various reasons, they simply cannot change/[understand] right away. The fact that others do not change/[understand] immediately according to your prescriptions does not mean that they will not change/[understand] sometime in the future. Your words and above all your example may do more good than you realize, although they may take longer than you expect. So have patience... there is probably no single, absolutely correct way of doing everything... many things can be done differently without any disadvantages."

2. "First and foremost, remember that if you are not addressing your own needs, it is highly unlikely that you will be able to meet anyone else's needs without problems, underlying resentments and potential rejections. Further, you will be less able to respond to people in a balanced way if you have not gotten adequate rest, and taken care of yourself properly. It is not selfish to make sure that you are okay before attending to others' needs- it is simply common sense."

3. "While there are many things you might want to do for people, it is often better to ask them what they really need first. You may be gifted at accurately intuiting others' feelings and needs, but that does not necessarily mean that they want those needs remedied by you in the way you have in mind."

and finally- "Put yourself in the way of good... self-esteem and self-confidence will develop only from having positive experiences. You may feel that you are never ready to take on a challenge of some sort, that you always need more time. Even if you start small, commit yourself to doing something that will bring out the best in you."

These thoughts may all be pretty scattered, but they are just a few things I was inspired by in the past couple days that I wanted to share... As I mentioned, we only have two weeks left so we have lots of dinners and activities with different staff members who want to say goodbye... Our final retreat is July 27-29 and then my flight home is the evening of the 29th... it's all going to fly by I'm sure. I'll be praying for anyone in transition and ask for prayers as I continue to job search and transition as well :)

Because I knew you, I have been changed for good

How many people can you say goodbye to in one week!? For us it's been a lot- over 150 between the students, staff, and soccer team girls. The last day of school was last Thursday and that was definitely a bittersweet day. The highlight from the day was at the end of the day. All of the staff stood outside on either side of the sidewalk and clapped as the students left the school. Such a testament to the amazing place that is Collier. Friday morning we had what's known as the "crying meeting" where all the staff meets and has an opportunity to thank different people for things throughout the year. If you didn't guess from the clever name, tears were definitely a component ;) It was the last staff meeting for us (the GSVs) so it was hard to say bye to all of the staff who have been such a big part of our year here! Coming into GSV, past Collier GSVs always told us that "this person is amazing, you'll love her" and "oh he's been here so long and has such a gift for working with the kids- he's awesome" etc etc... after a while it seems phony and like the staff members are all just little angels running around... but really, there's no other way to describe the staff but awesome and amazing. These people are some of the most loving people I've met. They work so hard for the students and it's been humbling to watch each of them express their gifts through teaching or counseling these kids with emotional challenges. During the "crying meeting", I said that I was truly humbled because the 5 GSVs have given a year to serve at this school but the staff members give their lives, year after year, to serving this population. It's truly been a gift to be a part of this school.

Friday evening was graduation. The ceremony was outside at the outdoor stage on the school's campus- it was the perfect evening weather wise!   Here's some pics- One with Ray, our principal, and one with Tammy, the front desk receptionist at the school- we worked really closely with her and got to know her really well.

Friday after graduation we went to Ray's house and some of the staff came by for a staff party. So I guess some of the staff we didn't have to say goodbye to until then. I spoke with the Spanish teacher about her background at the party- she's Puerto Rican and has so much zeal for life. She's so full of energy and loves talking about her culture. She was telling me about how she integrates her culture with her husbands culture (Italian) and how their kids have embraced it too... I thought it was so interesting! You may be bored reading about this haha it was just a fun convo so I thought I'd share...

Saturday morning, we had our last soccer game (we've been cheering for Ray's daughter's middle school rec soccer team this spring) and had another party at Ray's after the soccer game to say goodbye to all those girls. Crazy weekend of goodbyes! Saturday afternoon we laid by the pool on the school property and Sunday we just relaxed- did a whole lot of nothing which was nice.

This week has been very slow and kind of difficult at school. Plus it's been in the upper 90s with 80-100% humidity. Gross.... After the rush of the school year it seems very slow in the school. We go in around 9 or 10 and leave by 3. A lot of the time we're just asking admin what needs to be done and doing little tasks here and there. It's starting to get a little old but starting next week, we'll be doing the rock wall and zip line twice a week. That'll be nice to break up the week. Speaking of breaking up the week, yesterday we got to go crabbing in the bay again with Ray. We went in August when we first got here and it was so fun so we went again. It was a much needed get away from the school. Today I got to help the art teacher organize a lot of her room. It's always so nice to get to spend time with her because she's very insightful and really "gets" the kids. She's a true artist in the way she thinks about things but she's so grounded and has a lot of great advice. It was great to chat and organize... two of my favorite things :)

I'm currently job searching for when I return in August. I'm not sure what I'll be doing but hopefully working. I'm really feeling good about my decision to come home and I'm glad I trusted my instinct. I've been meeting with a spiritual director all year and we've talked a lot about decision making and trusting myself... very hard but essential life lessons! It makes life so much more easy when we trust ourselves and try to keep our heart, mind and soul in line. My spiritual director told me when I feel out of sync to ask God to make straight my crooked paths. Simple prayer but powerful.... Got hope now!? .... weeeeee!

That's all for now! More to come this summer!

Is it really June?

The past month and a half has been packed full of life ;) May flew by as I prepared for our school musical, City of Angels, went on a 3 day silent retreat, helped with our principal's daughter's soccer team, visited Emily Weber when she was in New York, chaperoned prom, started teaching an art class, visited with family, and went home for Lucy's graduation!

I was in charge of costuming for City of Angels which ended up being a huge task. I had no idea what I got myself into when I agreed to do it. Our school has very little budget for renting so I basically came up with the costumes from our small costume selection, Good Will runs, and different clothes the kids brought in that they owned. It ended up being a great show and the kids were thrilled, once again making all the stress worth it :)

The silent retreat was in Garrison, NY, at a retreat center. I didn't really know what to expect going into the retreat but I found that it was truly awesome. I have never heard God speak so clearly to me. I had been debating whether or not to do another GSV year and there were multiple times that I read something that weekend or heard something that lead me to have a ton of peace about returning to Colorado. It has definitely taken a lot of trust to make the decision to go home but I know it's the right thing. I'm currently looking for jobs in design as well as education so we'll see where I end up :) The hardest part about leaving will be the people. I know I'm ready to move on from the experience, but it has already proven to be difficult to tell people I won't be back. I'm thankful I had so much peace at the retreat about going home because it's given me comfort when I fear I've made the wrong choice or get sad about leaving. Prom was one event that really made me question my decision. It was so fun to see the students dressed up, feeling good about themselves (uncommon for many of them) and having fun. But I have to remember that every day at school doesn't always feel like prom and I made my decision because it's what's best for me and my future... lots of lessons in trusting this month :)

Going home for Lulu's graduation was sooo wonderful. I'm so proud of her for graduating and for all of the hard work she did, especially during her senior year. She's going to school for graphic design which is very fitting for her artistic skillzzz :) It was also just really great to be home with my family. I miss them so much and we always have to much fun when we're together! My cousin is a professional photographer and was there for her party and took lots of pictures... check it out-- he's super artsy, too!! http://www.mikelesnickgallery.com/p778490474

June 14th is our last day of classes for the students and graduation is the 15th. I'm sure it'll be pretty emotional... I'm forever grateful for this year with these kids and the staff at Collier. I have grown in so many ways and learned so much about how to love myself and the world. If I could give one message to the students, it would be a message I'd send to my high school self as well. I'd say something like this... forgive me if it's cheesey:

Love yourself.
Love your neighbor.
Don't be so judgmental of yourself.
Don't be so judgmental of your neighbor.
Recognize that you have valuable ideas and skills to contribute to the world which may be expressed in different ways.
Recognize that your neighbors have valuable ideas and skills to contribute to the world which may be expressed in different ways.
It cannot not work out- all things are leading you to where you need to be tomorrow. 
I believe in you, the staff believes in you, and God believes in you- believe in yourself.


"You may feel like giving up, but I know you've always got more to give. You just have to believe in your ability to achieve." -Jillian Michaels

Stepping into Spring

Hoooooo boyyy it's been a little while since I've made a post! I've been thinking about blogging for the past month but haven't made time to just sit and do it... so here I am, almost 2 months later, doin the best I can :)

The past couple months have been busier and busier. I'll try to sum up a few of the high lights...

Joe came to visit last month which was great fun! We went to our Aunt Maryann's condo in Stone Harbor to help her tear out her kitchen so the new kitchen could come in... Then Joe came back to Wickatunk with me and came to school with me for a day... We also got to visit with our Aunt Bern and Uncle Ray- they live 20 minutes from me. They had a little cake to have an early birthday celebration since Joe and I wouldn't be together on our birthday (for those of you who don't know, Joe and I share a birthday but he's three years younger than me). It meant so much to me that they thought of us in that way!

For my birthday, I went to my Aunt Cathy and Uncle Jim's beach house in Avalon with my roommates. We went down Friday right after school and stayed through Sunday. The weather wasn't great on Saturday but it cleared up Sunday. It was really nice to get away and relax!! I lived at their house two summers ago so it was also fun to go back and see all the old memories flash back :) This is one of the only pics I have cuz we were just havin a good time doin a lot of nothing!

Last week I went home for our spring break! I got to see a couple friends, visit with my family, and also be a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding! Crystal was my bible study leader during my freshman and sophomore years of college so I was honored to be in her wedding :) We had her bachelorette party Tuesday night, which was a blast because all the girls hadn't been together in over 2 years... Then the rehearsal was Wednesday night and we went to Boulder after that. Thursday was the wedding... so fun! We all met Crystal for lunch before going to get photos. I also got put in charge of setting up the center pieces for the reception. 'Parently you get called upon to do any sort of slightly-possibly- in any way- artistic jobs when you have a degree in desgin ;) I joke but I really do love it... Anyways, it was raining a little bit as the ceremony started and the bridal party walked down the isle (the ceremony was outside) but right as Crystal came to the front of the isle, the sun came out and it cleared up with a rainbow to top it off! :) The ceremony was really really beautiful and was a great reflection of Crystal and Kirk's story. We had sooo much fun at the reception and went out with the bridal party to Boulder again after the reception... I put an album on Facebook with lots of pics but here are a few of Crystal:

As a final highlight, the students all got to do "earth day activities" one day last week at school. I co-organized window painting with Earth day messages on our courtyard windows... here are a few pics of what the kids did :)

Soooo long story short, it's been a busy but fun couple of months! I'm still trying to search out what I want to do next year and what I'm doing with my life for the next few years but I'm trusting that God and time will tell... I'll try to keep you posted more often of the happenings in Wickatunk :)

Beauty-filled

Last weekend I went to visit my friend, Emily Koenning, in Emmitsburg, MD, and my dad in Virgina. We had a 4 day weekend so I took the time to go on a mini road trip :) It's crazy how close together things are here. I drove through Pennsylvania to get to Emmitsburg on Saturday morning. I really enjoyed the drive through Pennsylvania... One of Emily's students thought I was crazy for liking it but I won't lie, there's a lot of farming/amish country around the PA turnpike which I love... simplicity sings to me. When I got to Emmitsburg, we went to a big slide at a park near Emily's house... It was a couple stories high and made of wood... You can never be to old for fun in a park :)

Later that day we went to the grotto on the campus of Mount Saint Mary's- where Emily is a missionary... It was so so beautiful. There were paths through the woods with waterfalls, the stations and meditations of the rosary along the paths... Later, we went into Gettysburg and had dinner. We drove through the fields where the Battle of Gettysburg took place-- it was a strange realization to be driving through a field that was once dominated by such a brutal battle! Downtown Gettysburg was really neat- lots of awesome historical architecture and design :) That night we went back to Em's house and there were students and other missionaries hanging out and playing music. Sunday morning, we went to mass at the church on campus and then we went to a brunch for women on campus. It was very inspiring to be among faithful college students again... they were so passionate about the dignity of women! After the brunch, Emily and I went back to her house and looked at wedding stuff for her wedding next summer! yay!! I'm so happy for her and TJ! I have over 10 friends who are engaged which is crazy but really exciting! This time of life is so funny (ironic) because there are so many weddings and babies, yet our grandparents' generation is aging and passing on.... tis the circle of life.

Ok back to my trip- Sunday evening I drove down to Manassas, VA, where my dad was staying with my aunt. We had dinner for my cousin's birthday Sunday night and played games- always a good laugh with the fam :) Monday, my dad, Aunt Maryann and I went to a Marine Corps museum and then out to lunch at a greek restaurant. The museum was huge and really well done! It's shocking to see what the marines went through back then as well as a reality check of what our service men and women go through now. I'm very thankful for all our troops because I know I could not do what they do.

I've been trying to heal my spiritual life recently and my trip to PA/VA was definitely a great start to that process... I also went to a healing mass the other night and wanted to share a message I read in their handout because I found it very comforting. It was labeled as "A message to Anne, a lay apostle, February 2012." God works in mysterious ways ;) Anyway, here it is:

Dear Apostles, your faith makes you beautiful. I am watching you as you receive graces from heaven. Your heart is transformed, little by little, and your service to Me is purified and becoming more unblemished by self interest. Your life is changing in many ways. Perhaps you are leaving one type of service for another or completing a task that has held your attention for a long time. Perhaps you are laying down a heavy cross of suffering and being released from it so that you can serve more freely in another way. Perhaps, dear apostle, you are awaiting your next heavenly assignment and you are eager to move on to it. Or you are simply serving faithfully as best you can in the work that is yours each day. Regardless, you believe, and you are trying to live that belief. This makes you beautiful to Me. Yes, faithfulness to me consoles the world. The little pocket of faithfulness you contribute is like a sign that directs the eyes of others to the next life. Others look at you and understand that not everyone lives for this life. They understand that even if you are wrong about eternity, hope in eternity exists. My friends, you do not realize the value of that hope for someone in a moment when all hope seems lost. Poor humanity. We must bring hope to the world through our committed service to the Father. And if you find your hope challenged, then you must explain to Me the source of your pain. Come to Me in the silence of your heart and I will listen to your grief. I will console you. I will show you that the power of heaven can heal the gravest hurts and the cruelest sufferings. I will restore you. Please believe me. It is in the interest of all humanity that you possess the hope needed for others. Yes, you are beautiful to me... You are beautiful.

Be The Change...

Next weekend marks the half way point for my year with GSV! It's exciting, sad and crazy to think that this is so temporary. So much has happened in the last 5 months and I can only imagine what's in store for the rest of the year.

We hit the ground running after Christmas break... Good Shepherd teamed up with WedCo for a day of service in the Bronx on MLK day. We picked up a ton of trash and helped paint a mural in an affordable housing project. It was humbling to see how happy and thankful the locals were when they saw us cleaning up the streets.

Our drama production of "Bang, Bang You're Dead" was in mid-January. The students were phenomenal. The play was about a school shooting and had an anti-bullying message. It was very dark material but the students were all so mature.

Last weekend (January 27-29) I was in Deleware visiting my Uncle Pat, Aunt Pam, and cousins Victoria, Jack and Nolan. We had a really nice visit! Saturday morning, we went to Jack's basketball game- very cute to watch all the kids :) Then, Aunt Pam and I went to a huge indoor farmers market and got lots of fresh yummy food to make dinner together Saturday night. Then I went to PA for my cousin's (Kelly) birthday brunch on Sunday!

This past weekend was our simplicity and social justice retreat... can you guess what we discussed? ... I actually really liked it. I love trying to live a simple life... Things I try to do to live simply? Buy fair trade, eat healthy foods, recycle, enjoy nature, reduce clutter in heart and home, reduce water usage... I definitely can't afford to buy everything fair trade or organic right now, but ideally, I would. We also talked about social justice and helping people in need. I'm really passionate about eradicating human trafficking and poverty as well as supporting equality in education... These are all huuuuuge topics so I'm excited to explore different ways to be informed and involved. If you're interested in being involved, you can also make a difference... http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/signature-campaign-social-protection-floor/sign.html this is a link to a petition for the Social Protection Floor Initiative. With enough votes, countries would be required to make changes to reduce poverty and ensure that everyone had access to basic health care, food, and other essential services for living. When people are poor, they are more susceptible to human trafficking because they are desperate to make money. This campaign would help reduce/eliminate poverty, thus hopefully eliminating trafficking and other social issues. I feel like this is a lofty goal for the UN but at the same time, we are not called to be timid with our actions. Matthew 8:26 says "He replied, 'You of little faith, why are you so afraid?' Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm." I was extremely humbled when I was reading the petition and this verse popped into my head. But I guess if you "cannot do great things, do little things (like taking 10 seconds to sign the petition) with great love" (Mother Theresa) Ok ok, enough of my little social justice soap box... I'm just very passionate about all of this and sending a message of human dignity throughout the world!

Alrighty, I must go to bed. I've been working on really taking care of myself-- eating well and sleeping more... I've got the work out down so it's just a matter of getting the other two in check ;) As always, I miss my family and send many hugs and kisses to you in CO and WA... xoxoxoxo

PS- fun fact: I love pintrest.... and need to get off of it cuz I'm addicted.

New Birth

This new year brought about new life in many ways. Being home with my family was rejuvenating and, of course, too short! I got home just in time for Christmas with snow on the ground and all the family home <3 We all spent the day together relaxing, eating derishious food, and playing games. Monday, I did the traditional day-after-Christmas shopping with Kate, Lucy and my madre to do Christmas returns, exchanges, gift card spending, etc. I spent the rest of the week catching up with friends and spending time with my family... it was really a wonderful visit and I cherish every moment at home :)

Unfortunately, I returned to New Jersey and learned of the passing of my Nana, my mom's mom. I've had moments of sadness and moments of peace, all the while knowing that she's in a better place and has been given new life. The services were this past weekend and they were incredibly beautiful and reflective of my Nana. People from all over came to pay respects. Many stories were told of the lives she touched. She was a mother of 7, grandmother to 21, great-grandmother to 3 with one on the way, a nurse, wife, and friend. She made the most of her life and has inspired many to do the same. As we walk into a new year, I am encouraged to live a life full of hope and love. I was very inspired by my Nana's faith... the front page of the program for the funeral mass was Matthew 25:23- "Well done, good and faithful servant... enter into the joy of the Lord." We all make mistakes, but to show up each day and try to be faithful and good in the eyes of the Lord gives me great hope and joy.

The passing of my Nana has been unsettling, yet has provided me an opportunity to step back and thoughtfully begin 2012. The first week back to school was very hectic trying to tie all the loose ends from before Christmas while sorting through emotions. After the weekend of funeral services, I came back tired, but hopeful in the mission of the sisters of the Good Shepherd. My Nana was known for how she loved people beyond their outward appearances and actions. As I begin the new year, I am reminded to love the students here in the same way each and every day. After all, "one person is of more value than a world."- St Mary Euphrasia