Unbridled Trust

I have a few different things to reflect on this evening...
1. My Grandma
2. Part of the psalm from this weekend's readings
3. Trusting God

So I'll start by reflecting on the past week. My dad's mom, Agnes Skrobacz, passed away last Friday, February 27, 2015. My siblings and I flew out to join my parents in New Jersey. They had been there with her while she was in hospice. The viewing was this past Tuesday followed by the funeral mass on Wednesday. Family and friends gathered to tell many stories of her life- a life that was filled with laughter, determination, crocheted afghans and sweaters, and most of all, love. My grandmother committed her life to raising her 5 children and then loving her 10 grandchildren. I recall her coming to Colorado with my grandpa many times when we were young. She and my grandpa would bring one suitcase that was filled with toys and goodies for all of us. It was a Christmas of sorts each time they arrived to our house in Colorado. She loved visiting us and talked about coming back to visit us every time we talked. You ask how often we talked? Well, she called every Saturday. The conversations were typically the same each week: "How are ya? What's the weather like? Do you have enough food? Are you happy/do you like what you're doing?" That last question... Are you happy? She wanted to make sure I was happy. My heart grieves the loss of her unconditional love as a grandmother. I hope one day I can pass on some of that love to children and grandchildren. We also shared many many laughs with my grandma. As our family gathered this week, we shared endless stories of some of her sayings and habits that we all found quite humorous. I could go on and on about the stories of love and laughter about my grandma and maybe I'll share another post with more memories soon. For now, I'm grateful for the time I had with my family this week to honor her life. She will always be remembered for her unending love and may her soul rest in peace.

My grandparents in their early years

My grandparents with my siblings and me- all of us are wearing a sweater she crocheted in this picture :) 

My grandma and me - this captures her love so perfectly. My face looks concerned about something and yet she looks like she's trying to figure it out and make it okay for me. Love.

Most of the extended Skrobacz family- I believe this was 2009

For the second part of my post, I wanted to reflect on part of the Psalm from this weekend's readings. Psalm 19 reads:

"The law of the LORD is perfect,
refreshing the soul;
The decree of the LORD is trustworthy,
giving wisdom to the simple."

I have a couple thoughts on this. First, anywhere it says "refreshing" in the Bible, I find tremendous peace. It's one of my favorite words/expressions. I think that word and the context in which it is used is such a perfect description of the peace of God. "Refreshing" is restful, rejuvenating, life giving. Psalm 23 talks about the Lord leading us by still waters to refresh our souls. Again, such a perfect picture of the peace of God. The second part of Psalm 19 quoted above says "giving wisdom to the simple". I love this. I think this speaks to the wisdom that is found in simple silence. Silence is another way our souls can be refreshed. Silence brings simplicity to all that is around us. I love simplicity. It is a place of peace, wisdom, understanding, love, and is often the place God speaks to us. 

Ok I'm getting tired so one more final note about trusting God. I was praying tonight after mass and recalled a few times in my recent prayer when God has said "you're going to have to trust me". For some reason today the word "have" stuck out to me. I think God was helping me to see that it's not a "one foot in one foot out" kind of trust He desires from us. It's all or nothing. We just have to trust. Sometimes I feel unsure of "how" to trust, but that's exactly God's point in this- don't try to figure out "how" or have a plan for how to trust. Just do it! You have to! Easier said than done, but if we don't let our humanly thoughts and plans get in the way, we will find great peace resting our souls in the love and plans of God- it kind of ties in with that simple silence I reflected on with Psalm 19. God gives wisdom to the simple- not to our complex thoughts, worries, and plans. I pray that God would give me and you the grace to trust. Without question. With childlike, unbridled trust. The faith of Abraham. Lord, let us surrender all or nothing to you.